I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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