he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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