This is not my ceiling
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just gargled with NyQuil
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
