I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
