Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
