We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
