just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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