Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
