Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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