paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
