I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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