Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
