I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
