I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
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