You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
