I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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