yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
