I met the friendliest cop last night
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
