people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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