yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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