Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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