i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
ttyl tear gas
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize
