He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
