Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
