dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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