I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
