One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
