Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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