I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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