Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You made out with two different species that night
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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