You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
