That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
