The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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