Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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