I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
