I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
