Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
