i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
That's how pantless uber rides happen
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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