do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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