i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
