Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It all started with a game of naked twister.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
