I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I would ride that face into the sunset
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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