you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
