She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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