don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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