i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
