I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
