So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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