I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
