Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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