At least make sure they are 18
Why
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
