i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
